Monday, September 15, 2008


When I was in Africa for a women's teaching seminar, I had an interpreter named Mona. She assisted me with speaking to the audience. She was a school teacher in Dar-es-Salaam, Tanzania. She was fluent in English and Swahili. My audience mostly spoke Swahili. I was not aware at the time that my words would not necessarily convey my true thoughts and intents to the people. I told a couple of humorous stories that related to my text and it went over like cold rain. They didn't get it! None of my stories made sense to them. They just sat and looked at me with blank expressions. You could have heard a pin drop! After the first meeting Mona explained my problem to me. Sometimes what I said to her in English didn't translate smoothly into Swahili. I had to choose my words carefully and even then I might not be able to make it all fit together. Without Mona's help I never would have been able to preach the Gospel successfully in Tanzania.
She said it's not 'word-for-word' but 'thought-for-thought'. That's how I look at God's Word when it is translated into English. It wasn't originally written to English speaking people. Most doctrinal error comes from casually reading God's Word without ever digging deep into the original text and it's intended thought. The Bible calls this 'rightly dividing' the Word of Truth. I believe that word- for- word is very important as best it can be and that is why we do more than just read. Of course don't misunderstand what I am saying. We can't carry around a concordance of Greek and Hebrew words with us but we should set aside time to search the scripture and study. When I do study I receive such inspiration from the Word of God. The thought of the text is clarified for me and impressed upon my soul. It's an 'aha' moment for me to see a profound truth in the Word of God and understand it with the illuminating light of the Holy Spirit.
My friend Patti McKown is a Berean in heart. She studies and meditates God's Word with zeal. I love to talk to her in person because I always see the wheels turning behind her eyes as we banter back and forth. "Iron sharpens iron" and "deep calleth to deep". She always comes up with a good question.Tonight we talked about James 5:14. She was reading last night and came across this passage in James, "If there be any sick among you, let him call on the elders of the church and let them pray over him, anointing them with oil and the prayer of faith shall save the sick...". What does the word saved mean? She had a very good point. This passage to her sounded as though that to forsake the coming together and praying for one another could be a matter of life and death for some in the body of Christ. Well, because of the previous story I told of my experience in Dar-es-Salaam I am always interested in the original meaning of the words that I am reading in the Bible. I looked up 'save' in my Greek concordance and it means, "avenge, heal, deliver, restore". Another place said, "gift, to give, reward." Then I looked up the word 'sick' and it means, "tied up, walled". So the way it would read would be,"...anointing them with oil and the prayer of faith shall 'avenge, heal, deliver, restore' the [one] 'tied up, walled'. In John MacArthur's Bible Commentary he says that they are, "... delivered from suffering because they have been weakened by their infirmity". When we get so down in spirit and body that we are literally bound in our weakness then the Lord swoops in to avenge, deliver and restore us to a place of health and strength.
Knowing this more clearly about suffering's manifested symptoms, and then seeing the mercy of God in this passage really comforts me. He is good to us. He loves His children and we pray and petition Him because He answers us. I'll close with what Patti said, "It's very important that we assemble with believers who are after the heart of God and believe in prayer." Amen.

Monday, June 30, 2008


Sometimes what you say and how they hear are two different things. Sometimes what you say and how they hear are the same thing. This can be very dangerous if what is being said is in error.
I found this out the hard way. It has taken me eight years to finally gain some understanding concerning my daughter Jennifer's death. John and I graduated from a Word of Faith School and began a "Word" church in 1998. In 2000 we relocated our church to a new building in another part of town. Six weeks after we had moved, our fourteen year old daughter died of a malignant brain tumor. It was a tumor as big as an orange in the middle of her brain and touched many different parts of her brain. At the time we found it the doctor said that if he had operated on her he would not have been able to remove it all and that she would have suffered severe deficits. Of course this is one of the most devastating things that can happen to parents. Being a WOF person following such tragedy is difficult enough but being a pastor's wife and a trained minister was agonizing. John preached healing and layed hands on the sick the Sunday following Jenn's funeral. I went through the motions. I attended church faithfully and put up a pretty good front for the sake of the ministry, but inside I was dying. I had been taught that confession and words were of tremendous importance in a believer's life. I was taught that words have the power to create good things in our life or bad things. That through wrong words we can create poverty, sickness, tragedy or even an early death. I was taught that the words that I spoke when mixed with faith could literally create circumstances. I believed this with all my heart. Until Jenn died. After she died I could not help but question "How? did this happen?". How did I "confess" my daughter's future for 14 years and she literally drop dead of a brain tumor in 2 days? I made plans with her as all parents do. We talked about college and marriage and children. She always said she wanted to be a "traveler" or an actress. She and her friends planned their futures and talked about the upcoming year as freshmen in high school. This question has plagued me for 8 years. I asked every faith minister that I knew this question. No one had any answer for me. I even received some ridiculous answers. Some said that maybe she was in sin. Some said that children usually die of tragedy when the father commits adultery. Some said that I didn't have enough faith. Some said that she didn't have enough faith. Some said that maybe she caused it herself because she said her head hurt or that maybe she harbored unforgiveness toward her parents. All of these responses came from preachers of word of faith. None of them brought me any comfort. I mean if words mixed with faith are capable of creating circumstances in our lives then why isn't Jenn in college right now? or married? or just traveling all over the place like she planned? I never said that she would one day die of a brain tumor. I just don't believe it anymore. The danger is that it almost shipwrecked my faith in God. I know many true believers that love the Lord but they have been so abused by the erroneous teaching of the Word of Faith doctrine. I know I led people down a path through my teaching that was paved with heartache, self doubt and bitterness toward God. I taught confession to people for years! I honestly believed that if I said that my children would never suffer tragedy or sickness then they wouldn't. I believed I had authority over my children's lives in this regard. I began to look at myself as the one who was responsible for everything in my life. I had heard Brother Hagin say that he didn't pray for his family anymore than at the most three times. To pray about it anymore would be doubt in the first prayer that he prayed. I got to where I didn't pray for them anymore because I thought that would be doubting God and my confession. I once had an argument with a fellow believer over a mutual friend that had terminal cancer. His point was that it was dangerous to offer unreasonable hope to someone. I argued that he only had to confess and believe and he would receive his healing. My friend died and I wonder if I made his wife and child feel guilt at his death. I don't know.
I found Jenn's diary the week after she died. I read it of course because I wanted to feel close to her. The diary was full of things young teen girls talk about. Boys that they think are "hotties", petty squabbles with friends, grades and plans for the weekend (plans, always plans, lots and lots of plans). Jenn wrote all the way up until the week before she died. In almost every entry she said she woke up in pain or that she felt extremely nauseated. She said she would confess God's Word and take some Advil and go out and play. I found a bottle of Advil in her dresser drawer after she died. I wonder if she was afraid to talk about her pain? Afraid that if she did then something bad would happen to her. I wonder if I had not been so delusional about my faith that maybe I would have heard or seen something sooner. I wonder if I was in denial because I thought that nothing could ever happen to us. My youngest son just recently revealed to me that he has always been afraid to tell me when his throat hurt or when he felt bad. He had heard that by speaking about it, it would make it so. He was rebuked in children's church once for saying something "tickled him to death". The children's minister said "Oh, don't say that! You may die of laughter." It seems comical but it is so sad. How many people could have been saved if they had told someone that they felt bad? How many lives have been lost because someone thought that to show their faith in their healing meant to stop taking their insulin or heart medications? How many people didn't ask for help when they needed it most? I am not consumed with guilt although I am remorseful. I once saw a student in bible school leave class with chest pain. He had all the classic symptoms of a heart attack. He was short of breath, holding his left arm, sweating profusely and pasty white. Some fellow students jumped up and ran after him and began walking him up and down the hall confessing that he would live and not die! Instead of calling 911 they were ignoring his symptoms! If the teacher had not stopped class and corrected their behavior I have no doubt that he probably would not have survived. The message in WOF is erroneous and dangerous. We are not taught in God's word to deny anything. To deny a reality to the extent of saying that it doesn't exist is negligent. If there is a lump in your breast then it is there no matter how much you deny it. Just because you say it doesn't exist doesn't make it so. Ask the Lord to heal you and get to a doctor fast! I believe that a lot of the confession message is really a lot of hope and pride. Well in my observation, the WOF people are just as sick, broke, divorced, on drugs, and suffering moral failures as the rest of humanity. Jesus said, "Hey guys, just be glad your name is written down in the book of life." We don't always know everything because guess what?... We are not God! No matter how much you call yourself the creator of your own world, you are not. I know Jenn is with Jesus now. She will never suffer this life again and frankly at times that brings me great comfort and joy. No matter how much I miss her, I will see her again. She is actually in a much better position than her brothers. To live is Christ, to die is gain. Would I change the circumstances if I could? Of course. But to pull her out of the Savior's arms now would be selfish. What I hope and pray is that someone will read this and maybe a light will go off and they will begin to question some of this teaching. It's okay to do that you know. It might just save your life.

Thursday, May 29, 2008


I want my own jet. I need a jet. I am a faith preacher so I need a jet to fit in with the other faith preachers. I don't think that I should have to fly commercial and sit next to some lost person that may draw the Anointing out of me, or some hungry soul that would pepper me with questions about God. I need to be rested when I arrive for my meetings. I know Jesus walked around like the people did but I'm sure that if he were here he would fly his own jet.
I also wants some armor bearers. I want them to meet me out in the parking lot and open my truck door. Hopefully a new Hummer, cause I'm a faith preacher.. I want my armor bearers to have those little walkie talkies like the Secret Service uses. I need an armor bearer to carry my Bible and to keep common church folks out of my hair so that they wont disturb the Anointing.
I also need a 18,000 square foot mansion to live in. It is very important to me to have all of these things cause I'm a faith preacher, and all the faith preachers live in mansions.
I want my own TV show too on TBN. I want to hang out with the Stars of Jesus and to be seen with them. This is what we faith preachers do the best, we hang around the Stars of Jesus. I wonder how I can do this? Hmmmmm. I know, I will ask people to be my covenant partners! They can send me their money, and I will say a prayer for them! That's it! Also, when I get invited to all the meetings, I will tell them that I am good ground and that if they will sow their best seed into my ministry, that they will become rich! WOW! Awesome idea! I need to get to work right away, before Jesus comes back and I miss my shot at the Big Time!